


don't wanna give you all my demons

by modernpatroclus



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 00:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7596025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modernpatroclus/pseuds/modernpatroclus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: What if Neil pissed Andrew off/made him so upset one time that Andrew told Renee Neil was her responsibility now<br/> </p><p>“I do hate you,” Andrew insisted.</p><p>“Maybe you should let me go then.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't wanna give you all my demons

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the run and go by twenty one pilots because apparently i'm on a top kick

“You may not be running away anymore, but you’re still running.” Andrew said it to Neil as they stood across from each other on the roof. These kinds of fights had been a constant lately. Another one was brewing, and Neil was on edge.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re going to run yourself into the ground over Exy if you don’t slow down. Your father is dead; you’re supposed to be free now.”

“I’ll never be free, Andrew. I may not belong to my father anymore, but I’ll belong to the Moriyamas until I die. That was the deal. Exy has to come first.”

“If I wanted to be with Kevin, I never would have started this with you.” Andrew sounded as unaffected as ever when the words left his mouth, but the slight tilt to his mouth betrayed him.

“I thought it wasn’t a ‘this,’” Neil challenged. “You always make it a point to waste your breath on how much you hate me anyway.” Neil knew he was being unfair; he had always known what Andrew really meant when he told Neil he hated him, and he’d never expected anything else. It had never bothered him, because between the two of them, he was pretty sure neither of them had ever been told by anyone that they were loved. If anything, Cass might have said it once. But that would mean nothing now, after the fact of Drake.

But Andrew was truly pissing Neil off for the first time since coming off his drugs. He knew what was riding on Neil’s game – not only Kevin and Jean, but everyone Neil cared about now had targets on their backs. Ichirou had all the resources in the world to start taking out the Foxes if Neil started to slack off.

If keeping his family safe meant distancing himself from them, well, Neil had lived half his life with only a mother who cared solely for his survival. He would willingly spend the rest of the Friday nights of Palmetto career on the court rather than going out with the rest of the team. He would pull away, make them not want his company, if it kept them from being his collateral damage ever again.

But all Andrew could see was Neil’s obsession. They’d been fighting daily, about how Neil hadn’t survived everything he’d been through, only to go back to living like a stray cat again. That was what Andrew said, at least. He had even stopped participating during night practices, claiming that Neil was being as pathetic as Kevin. Which was how this fight started.

“I do hate you,” Andrew insisted.                                    

“Maybe you should let me go then.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes at Neil. “What are you talking about?”

The words came out before Neil could stop them, but he refused to take them back. If Andrew was going to be stubborn, so was Neil. “Our deal ended months ago anyway. Just stop watching my back. If it bothers you so much, let me go, Andrew.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed even further. “Don’t be an idiot. You can’t go a week without something happening to you.”

Neil shrugged. “Sounds like it’s my problem.”

Andrew stiffened, face going impossibly blank. “Fine. Tell Renee you’re her problem now. Whatever game you’re playing, Josten, you’re an idiot if you think you’ll come out alive on your own.” With that, he left the roof, lighting another cigarette even as he headed inside.

Neil already regretted this. But he told himself that as long as it kept Andrew safe, it would be worth it.

Aaron was already half-moved back in by the time Neil returned to the room later that night. He knew Andrew told him to switch back with Neil, and even though they were slowly – _slowly_ – fixing their relationship, it seemed Aaron still didn’t stand up to Andrew. That, or whatever he’d seen on Andrew’s face was enough of a deterrent for any arguments.

So Neil was back to rooming with Matt and Nicky. He knew they were worried, but even Nicky kept his mouth shut about the sudden change. They weren’t subtle in trying to distract him with video games and movies, though.

Neil appreciated it, but he couldn’t get too close to them, either. The whole point of breaking things off with Andrew was so he was at least somewhat safer from the Moriyamas. He had to keep everyone safe.

(Neil ignored the voice in his head telling him he’d really just wanted to feel like he’d won a fight. In any case, it definitely felt like a loss.)

-

A month later, Neil and Andrew still weren’t speaking.

Neil hardly went anywhere save for class and the court, so Renee didn’t have much watching over to do. The seclusion was more painful than Neil could ever remember it being before he’d let the Foxes in last year. But Neil only let himself dwell on it for thirty second intervals, the routine achingly familiar to how he used to deal with his emotions when he was on the run.

Matt, Nicky, and the girls were still trying to bring Neil back out of the shell he’d retreated into, but he politely declined every invitation they extended. They were hurt, but more than that they were worried.

It didn’t escape their attention that Neil was pushing himself harder than ever on the court. When he wasn’t in class or sleeping, he and Kevin were on the court. If for whatever reason they weren’t on the court, they were watching old games. He only spoke to Andrew as his role of vice-captain required, which, considering how Andrew had all but stopped playing again, admittedly was pretty frequent.

Neil should’ve known it would take another near-death experience – and proving Andrew right – for their cold war to come to a violent halt.

They were playing an away game against Belmonte on a Friday night, and Neil’s exhaustion from the whole week was steadily catching up to him. He’d stayed up even later than normal last night, because as soon as he and Kevin came back from the court, he’d spent hours watching Belmonte’s most recent games and taking notes.

This was the game determining if they’d go on to semi-finals, and Neil was terrified of what would happen if the Foxes didn’t make it. He was worried for Jean, too, because both of their teams couldn’t win, and he needed both of them to at least make it to the finals. He hated leaving Jean to chance, but it was a little ridiculous considering how far the Trojans made it year after year.

He was half-asleep on his feet, his focus was off, and Neil was doing exactly what Andrew had warned him about: running himself right into his own grave.

That’s why he didn’t see his mark until it was too late.

His six foot, two hundred pound mark, coming at him full speed, with the wall right at his back.

Neil slammed into it so hard that at first, all he could feel was how the wind had been knocked out of him. It wasn’t until he tried to stand up, his adrenaline the only thing still driving him, that Neil felt the unmistakable pain of broken ribs. He didn’t have the breath to cry out.

Although he’d fractured them more times than he could count, Neil had only ever broken ribs once before. It was a feeling he hadn’t been too keen on remembering.

The gasps he’d taken in to regain his breath when he first went down caught up to him, and Neil crumpled back to the floor as soon as he got halfway upright on his knees.

The game was still going because his mark had taken off with the ball before anyone even realized Neil was hurt, and the ball was back down the Foxes’ end, along with everyone’s attention – almost everyone’s.

Neil felt Andrew’s presence before he saw him. Neil managed to lift his head and squinted up at the empty goal on the Foxes’ end, where everyone was watching them in confusion. The play had finally stopped, and Abby was frantically making her way onto the court with the first aid kit.

Andrew guided Neil out of the fetal position he’d assumed to curl over his ribs, undoubtedly making it worse. When Neil stubbornly tried to stand on his feet, Andrew pinned him down to the floor with careful but firm hands. He rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Idiot,” and despite the agony in his torso, Neil felt a smile tug on his lips for the first time in months. It probably looked more like a grimace, but Neil didn’t care.

When Neil tried to sit up again, Andrew glared at him. “Sit the fuck down, Josten. Abby’s coming.”

“Andrew, she can’t do anything about this. I’m not laying on the floor all night.”

Andrew’s glare intensified. “Sit. Still. She’s going to look at you and make sure you don’t need to go to the hospital like a normal fucking person would.”

Neil studied Andrew’s face in confused suspicion. “Why are you doing this? I thought I was Renee’s problem now.”

Andrew huffed what was almost a laugh. It sounded incredulous. “You are so fucking oblivious.”

Before he could explain, Abby was there with concerned eyes and steady hands.

-

By the time the team filed back on the bus, Neil was so doped up on pain meds that he was able to pretty much ignore the throbbing in his body.

Andrew walked behind Neil, a hand on his back guiding him to the very back seat. Neil didn’t say anything when Andrew sat next to him, even though they had a bigger bus this year with the higher number of recruits.

Neil didn’t know how he was supposed to act around Andrew now. They had completely avoided each other since that night on the roof, when Andrew claimed he was done with Neil getting himself into trouble at every opportunity. He was closer to Andrew than he’d been in a month, and he was afraid he’d screw it up. And thanks to the drugs in his system, he had even less control over his mouth than usual.

He spoke slowly, willing his brain and mouth to cooperate. “’ndrew.” Pain and exhaustion slurred his speech.

“What.” Andrew sounded annoyed, but Neil had seen Andrew earlier. He knew there was more there than Andrew would ever admit.

“’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m still getting used to long-term relationships, and with Ichirou watching,” he said, butchering the name, “I panicked. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

“I told you to stop protecting me. The martyr card is getting old. One of these days, you’re going to have to actually die if you want to keep it interesting.”

Neil snorted. “You love being right almost as much as you hate me,” he mumbled, grinning.

“Shut up,” Andrew said, but there was no heat in his voice. “310%, you fucking junkie.”

“That’s double what it was a month ago!” Neil protested.

“It represents the decrease in my patience with you.”

Neil’s attention drifted before he could come up with a response. He cast his eyes on Andrew’s shoulder. “Yes or no?”

Andrew feigned a sigh, but eventually said, “Yes.”

Neil grinned to himself, resting his head on Andrew’s shoulder. He didn’t sit still for long, though. He lifted his head again and turned his face to Andrew’s. “Hey, Andrew.”

Andrew grunted in reply.

“What did you mean when you said I was oblivious?”

Andrew just stared at him for a long moment. “I never talked to Renee.”

Neil’s mouth parted in surprise. “But you said –”

“I wouldn’t even wish you on Kevin, Josten.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr post](http://runawayneil.tumblr.com/post/148024057857/what-if-neil-pissed-andrew-offmade-him-so-upset)


End file.
